Hello my loves! It’s been a REALLY long time since I’ve written about comics, so I’m feeling a little rusty and anxious about this post. So, bare with me as I get my bearings again.

Since currently the only title we’re reading is X-Men, (and because I am DESPERATE to get to Giant Size and Claremont’s run!) we’re going to fly through 1969 in just two posts. This post will cover issues #52-59. It’s a lot of ground to cover, and a few different story arcs, so lets jump in!

So, X-Men #52 is the end of the arc we started 5 years ago. (Oops!) I’ll do my best to catch you guys up, but you can also refresh your memories here! Basically, Mesmero is trying to carry out Magneto’s vision of mutant supremacy. He has captured Lorna Dane, telling her she’s Magneto’s daughter and that she must rule in his stead until he returns. We learn that Magneto is apparently NOT dead, and Bobby storms off on the rest of the team when they are forced to leave Lorna behind with Mesmero. Cyke tells the team he has a plan, and we cut to Erik the Red, challenging Mesmero for leadership of this whole silly plot. And that brings up to #52!

So, issue 52 is the wrap up to this arc. Eric the Red proceeds to fight his way through ALL of Mesmero’s goons and Mesmero until he is face to face with Lorna, who, despite recognizing that her dad’s plans are evil, feels she must help him because he’s her blood. Erik talks his way into joining Magneto as his second in command, and Mesmero is pissed guys! The whole thing is crazy silly, but it’s still fun. Then we cut to X-Men, where Jean is telepathically reaching out to each of them to begin Cyke’s plan that he mentioned at the end of issue 51. We still don’t know exactly what it is, but Bobby isn’t part of it since he stormed out on the team last issue. MG, Beast, and Angel arrive at the hideout of Mags and Mesmero and sneak in. They’re confronted by Erik the Red, who turns out to be Cyclops!! I have to be honest, I didn’t actually see that one coming. I probably should have, but I didn’t. It’s a great little plan on Scott’s part, until his identity is IMMEDIETLY discovered by Mesmero and the X-Men accidently use the trap they’ve laid against Bobby instead of the bad guys!! Way to go guys!

Anyway, the X-Men fight Mesmero and his henchmen after Beast gets an unconcious Iceman to safety. Bobby wakes up and find Lorna. He tells her that he spoke with her adoptive parent’s and has proof that she is NOT Magneto’s daughter. Thus free of her allegiance to Mags, Lorna absolutely destroys the remaining base and bad guys. Mags escapes (because of course he does!), our X-Men + Lorna live to fight another day, and Bobby and Lorna seem to be getting very close. But let’s pause here for a second to talk about Lorna. Cause guys, I have issues. Lorna Dane is a pretty cool character who is going to get totally under-utilized as the years go on, but this is the first time I’ve read her origin. And I have to say, it really sucks. Like Jean and Wanda before her, she starts off a totally one-dimensional character. A damsel in distress that is too stupid to question these villains feeding her some legit CRAZY story about how a mass murderer is her real father and also too weak willed to not question it and just go along with them because “blood” or some such nonsense. SERIOUSY?!? Like, she spends all of issue 52 complaining about how Mags is evil, but she has to defend him to the death because he’s her father. Girl, you’re powerful enough to bring this entire operation down in a second, and you don’t even think to do it until Bobby tells you that you were lied to?!? Even then, you just believe Bobby with no proof (although, in Bobby’s defense, he does have receipts and offers them to her, she just apparently doesn’t need to see the evidence.) I’m so fucking sick of reading women who are nothing but pretty things for the guys to swoon over and sometimes have small victories against the villains. It’s exhausting. Especially when I’ve read more modern stuff and know how fucking bad-ass these same women will be under a better writer. Jean, Wanda, Lorna: they will all eventually have world-ending, reality-bending, earth-shattering powder and they deserve better than this. Ok…rant over for now. Let’s continue on.

On top of this silly story, issue 52 brings us the art of Werner Roth who has made a few appearances as artist in the past. His art is great, if a little “house style” for my liking. It’s awesome art, it’s just not Steranko, so I’m a little sad. But nothing I can’t get past. And also, we need to talk about Erik the Red’s AMAZING bondage outfit. Who knew Scotty had that side to him?!?

But seriously, with that arc neatly wrapped up, lets move on the the next one! But first! Issue #53, “The Rage of Blastaar!” (AKA, the useless filler issue) Seriously, this is a one-off story about some alien named Blastaar who gets pulled down to earth when Jean tries to use some of Chucks equipment. He’s very angry and ragey, and he’s absolutely destroying our X-Men until Jean and Bobby make a bunch of ice mannequins to throw at him, they melt, and make a connection between him and the machine and he’s sent right back to where he came from. I wish I were kidding. We’re even treated to Jean being sad at watching this creature “die” even though he’s clearly pure evil and wants to destroy then entire world. Because, girls are emotional you guys! (Please see above for my feelings on this matter. LOL)

Let’s move on, shall we? Awesome! Cause I’m super excited for this next arc. It’s a dumb story, but I have reasons for being excited. Issue #54 starts a new arc that will run for like, three and a half issues, centering around the Living Pharaoh (LP) and it also introduces the one and only, Alex Summers!!!! (*insert happy dance here*!) That’s right, it’s time to meet the baby Summers brother, my loves! Are you as excited as I am? You really should be!

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So, first off, just want to mention that as this arc unfolds, we go from Arnold Drake writing and Don Heck taking over on pencils, to Roy Thomas writing with Don Heck’s art, and finally to Roy Thomas writing with Neal Adams doing the artwork. This pair will continue for the next eight issues, and it’s a great pairing. I really like Neal Adam’s art. It’s clean and crisp in a way we haven’t seen yet and it’s really pretty. So, anyway, this whole arc is about a new mutant villain who has named himself the Living Pharaoh. He’s kidnapped Scott’s younger brother Alex, who by the way, Scott has been in touch with, but has told no one about. The entire team is with him to watch Alex graduate from college, all thinking about how Scott never told them he had a brother. Not even Jean! Alex doesn’t appear to have any mutant powers, FYI. The team fights LP and loses, the LP tries to frame Cyclops for his death. Cyke escapes the police and find LP and LP ends up kidnapping him as well, and he takes them to Egypt. The rest of the team follows, and they fight some more. In the fight, Alex suddenly manifests his mutant powers and stops LP! (Here’s my shocked face that Alex is a mutant. LOL. As if a Summers could get through this world without powers or tragedy.) As they try to find someone to turn the captured LP over to, they stumble into his base and there’s more fighting. LP kidnaps Alex AGAIN. SOME MORE. And the team is left trying to find him somewhere in the Egyptian desert. And yes, I know, this recap is very tedious. Trust me, so was the arc. LP goes on and on to Alex about cosmic rays being the source of their powers and that he grows stronger as Alex grows weaker? Don’t ask. It doesn’t make sense to me either. LOL. Anyway, LP drains Alex of his powers and, I kid you not, transforms into a giant stone being and calls himself “The Living Monolith”. I wish I were making this up. But the X-Men eventually defeat him (and by X-Men, I mean Alex. They’re getting their asses handed to them until Alex takes control and breaks out of the machine draining him and uses his powers. This apparently drains LP of all of his powers and he’s no longer a giant stone creature and passes out.) We end with Alex freaking out about not being able to control his new powers. Whew!

So, there’s still like, half an issue left of this arc in #57, but it’s just a wrap up of Alex, not LP, so let’s pause to talk about LP. Because it’s super icky. We’ve talked a tiny bit about representation and politics and such in the past, but, fair warning, we are going to be discussing it more going forward. It’s important to me to talk about how these things evolve and change. That said, back to the current issue at hand, which is that every last one of these “Egyptian” henchmen and LP himself are white men dressed like ancient Egyptians. You see the problem here, right? It’s made even ickier when the Living Pharaoh explains that he thinks he is an ancestor of the ancient pharaohs. And he thinks a very white Alex is too. So, not just a white boy with an Egypt fetish. A white boy who wants to claim status in this non-white culture. We have ourselves a lot of weird, imperialist, white-washing politics going on here. Historically, this isn’t surprising. This is completely on brand with a long history of white-washing Egyptian culture and representation in American media. (For further examples, please see Elizabeth Taylor as Cleopatra, the entire cast of “The Ten Commandments“, and basically the entire cast of “Gods of Egypt” just to name a few) I’m not exaggerating when I say that American media really likes to cast white actors as Egyptian rulers and gods. Like, a LOT. To be honest, I’m not sure if this is worse then some villainous stereotype like we had with the Mandarin in Avengers? They’re obviously both bad choices. Like, if the only representation of non-white characters is villains, that’s obviously shitty. But, white-washing everyone isn’t the answer. (Nor do I give the writers and artists enough credit to think that was their intention when making these villains white.) But either way, it’s super gross to have all of these white superheroes (Avengers and X-Men alike) fighting villains from all sorts of non-white cultures when those cultures don’t get any representation as heroes. There are no Asian superheroes in this era. There are no African superheroes. But we’ve seen villains from all over Asia in Avengers that were gross stereotypes, and now we have Egyptian villains here. Guys, I need some Storm and Sunfire in my life like, right fucking now. So, lets end this rant and keep going so we can get to Giant Size and get to at least some representation in the hero’s line-up!

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If it’s not clear from the covers above, this next arc (Issues 57-59) is bringing back those undaunting, ever-returning, amazing X-foes: THE SENTINELS!!!!!! And, as should be clear from the cover of issue #58, we get the first appearance of Alex as Havok as well!! Guys, I’m excited for this arc. Not just for these appearances, but because it’s just a better arc in general than the last one. So lets go!

Issue 57 starts with Lorna, home in NYC, getting kidnapped by a Sentinel!?! And then, before we can question it, we cut back to our X-Men in Egypt. Alex has fled and the Egyptian authorities are on scene of the last battle with LP. LP turns out to be some renowned archeologist, and he blames Alex for the destruction of the ancient ruins he was using as his base (Not wrongly either, as Alex literally razed the entire structure when his powers went off in the last issue!). But Cyke is pissed that these cops are after his brother and he fucking attacks them, because of course he does. **Quick aside here. Do you guys remember my undying love for Scott? Full disclosure: it’s gone. I warned you all that I’m a different person and comic fan than I was five years ago. This will probably be most apparent in this specific shift. You’ll find I no longer love Scott. In fact, I have very little patience for his quick temper or his martyrdom or (spoiler alert!) the absolutely terrible way he treats Jean and other partners in the future. He’s got a lot of toxic traits and he reminds me too much of my ex husband, and it isn’t until MUCH MUCH later on that he starts to redeem himself. So, just be prepared. LOL.** Anyway, the team runs off to find Alex, but it’s for naught because he was hiding in a nearby cave, but he is also captured by a Sentinel. The team tries to contact Lorna so she can turn on Cerebro for them to find Alex, and they discover her apartment in shambles. Iceman freaks out because she’s his girlfriend and he’s worried. So the team splits up. Iceman and Beast head back to the states to find Lorna and the rest of the team continues to search for Alex. When Iceman and Beast arrive at Lorna’s, they’re confronted by two NYPD officers and we learn through the TV that while they’ve been in Egypt, a federal judge has been working with Bolivar Trask’s son to stir up anti-mutant sentiment again and restart the Sentinel program!! And these aren’t his father’s Sentinels. Dear son Larry has improved them. They’re now the purple and pink giants most of us think of when we think of the Sentinels. And they’ve been upgraded with specific attacks meant to counter the X-Men’s powers. (Heat for Iceman, water for fire, etc.) The boys are attacked by a Sentinel and Iceman sacrifices himself so that Beast can get away and contact the rest of the team to warn them. The rest of the team rushes home, but not before Angel throws a fit about being “The Avenging Angel” (we’ll talk about that at the end. It’s part of his back story that’s been happening in the ends of the last few issues) and decides to FLY HOME FROM EGYPT HIMSELF. WITH HIS WINGS. I can’t even with this. Cyke warns him that he’s never flown that far before, that they’re in a hurry, that he’ll be too exhausted to fight, and 100 other reasons this is a terrible fucking idea. But, of course, Angel does it anyway.

Cut to Larry Trask’s base of operations where we learn he has a way to temporarily block mutant powers. We also learn that he has Alex and Lorna there and Alex has agreed to work for Trask as “Havok” in return for Lorna and the other’s safety. Iceman is relieved to see Lorna still alive, but fights with Havok about his deal, calling him a coward. But then Havok takes down a Sentinel single-handed and that basically shuts Iceman up. Alex is POWERFUL you guys. Like, incredibly so! It’s awesome!! And he’s now in a very basic Havok costume: all black with the circles around his head. Anyway, Trask blocks Havok’s powers and we cut to Professor Abdol (the Living Pharaoh!) bitching about the X-Men and mutants to a room of Trask cronies, just to then turn back into LP as Havok is weakened by some device of Trasks and is attacked and carried away by Sentinels. It’s a fun bit of karma carried over from the last arc, and it’s done well. I really appreciate how at this point in the series, Roy Thomas blends these arcs into each other so organically.

Meanwhile, Angel is captured by two Sentinels as he streaks across the ocean, and guess what? It happens right outside of the commercial flight that Scott and Jean are on, so fuck off Warren. You weren’t any faster then them and you were too exhausted to even try to fight off the Sentinels. These boys and their fucking egos. Anyway, we cut to scenes of other mutants being captured by these new and improved Sentinels. We see Mesmero captured, but when the Sentinels try to capture Magneto too (who is with Mesmero) we learn that it’s not really Mags!! It’s a fucking Android!!! And Mesmero had no clue!!! I love it. I love it so much. Of course Magneto isn’t really there. Is he actually really dead? Is he just too cool to actually hang out with Mesmero? Who knows?!? But then Judge Chalmers shows up at the base. He and Larry fight as we see the remaining three X-Men (Marvel Girl and Cyke have met up with Beast) trying to sneak into the base outside. The judge pulls a medallion off Larry’s neck that his father gave him, and suddenly the Sentinels stop obeying him. Guys, turns out little Larry is a fucking mutant (because of course he is!). He is clairvoyant and predicted his mom’s death. That freaked out Bolivar, so he gave him a medallion to block his powers. Then he created the Sentinel program to wipe out mutants because, I guess, he was scared they’d out his son or something? But now that the Sentinels can sense that Larry is a mutant, they refuse to listen to him. They lock him up with Havok, Lorna, and Iceman and prepare to receive other mutants that have been captured so they can kill all of them. We see Banshee (!!!!) for the first time in years, as he’s been captured and tries to overpower everyone in the base. He fails. We also see Sentinels capturing Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch, and Toad, and Unus, Mastermind, and Blob. Our three remaining X-Men sneak into the base, switch costumes with SW, QS, and Toad to confuse the Sentinels, and then fight their way to the rest of the captured mutants. Between Cyke and Havok, they take out a lot of the Sentinels. And then Cyke convinces the Sentinels that they have to protect humans by ending the source of mutation itself, so the Sentinels all fly away to go try to destroy the sun. For real. It’s so ridiculous, but it works and is HIGHLY entertaining. We end with Havok injured and the team calling a mysterious old friend of Charles’ for help. A friend named Dr. Lykos!!!! (If you don’t know Dr. Lykos, I won’t spoil the surprise, but I’m so fucking excited!!!)

So yeah. That ends the reading for this entry. We still have to talk about the back stories at the ends of these issues, but I first want to say that this reading ended on a major high note for me. You guys, I LOVE the Sentinels. They’re awesome adversaries and, while these original ones in the 60’s are a bit silly, they become absolutely terrifying as the years go on and I can’t wait to see them evolve. It’s going to be lots of fun!! But lets talk about the origin stories in these issues:

First off is the rest of Beast’s backstory. We left off with him captured by El Conquistador and forced to help him to save his parents. Hank has to steal an experimental nuclear reactor. He does no problem, but of course EC lied to him and won’t release him or his parents. Then Angel, Cyke, and Iceman show up to save him and take him back to the mansion. (Yes, I know we haven’t gotten Angel’s backstory yet. The writers are also aware and mention it. Apparently we’re getting them out of order.) Beast joins the X-Men and Chuck ups his game this time and erases the memory of Hanks powers from the ENTIRE FUCKING TOWN. I am so glad he is dead. Like, for real. This man has no concept of consent at all.

Next up is Angel. He’s in boarding school when his wings start to grow. He freaks out and gets himself isolated from the other boys in the dorms so no one knows. Then one night, there’s a fire in the dorms and he flies in and saves everyone, pretending to be an actual angel. This gives him the bug for hero-ing and he rents an apartment on his own and begins fighting crime as “The Avenging Angel” (I told you we’d get it it! Lol). Anyway, Cyke and Iceman show up to recruit him as he’s coming back from stopping some thieves. He still has the vial the thieves stole. Chuck telepathically tells Cyke and Iceman to capture Warren with NO explanation and they fight. Then Chuck jumps into Warren’s head to tell him that the vial he has is going to explode because, I kid you not, his MUTANT BODY activated it. *Sigh* So Warren does the noble thing and flies it up into the upper atmosphere to freeze it (because of course right before this he knocked Iceman out, so he conveniently can’t freeze it). He almost dies, but doesn’t, and agrees to join the team. And this time, Chuck doesn’t have to mind-wipe anyone!! Yay for small victories I guess! Let’s go with that as we jump to Jean, cause it’s not going to be fun.

Up until now, all of our heroes have had multi-installment back stories that involve danger and adventure. But that’s all about to change. Because Jean Grey doesn’t get a backstory. She gets five fucking pages at the end of issue #57. The whole thing is told from her perspective and is entitled “The Female of the Species”, so I’m already seeing red. We’re told on the first page that Stan Lee has brought in a female writer (Linda Fite) for this special “origin”, but if you think that’s going to help, you’re sorely mistaken. What we get is Marvel Girl explaining her powers to us in the most ridiculous ways. We see how her telekinesis helps her make apple pies and do housework, how her levitation helps her escape “boring garden parties” and we end with her telling us that just walking down the street is an adventure because she can stop purse snatchers (without taking any credit for it) and that she can “turn men’s heads without trying” because apparently being appealing to the opposite sex is more important that being a badass superhero. Guys, I’m livid. We get absolutely no explanation of how her powers manifested, how she was originally recruited to join the X-Men, or anything else. We just get, basically, a Good Housewife article with superpowers.

And on that less than stellar note, it’s time to wrap up this EXTREMLY long entry. Please know that, despite all my rage, I do love these comics and these characters. These stories are silly and convoluted, but they’re still a lot of fun. And we’re about to get into an arc that introduces a really fun villain in our next section of reading, so that will be cool to get into. I think you guys will really like him! I know I do. He’s just so over the top and silly, you can’t help but love it! So, hang in there with me my loves. I promise I won’t always be so negative and grouchy with our merry band of mutants. Let’s get excited about what’s to come, and until next time, keep searching my darlings!